how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
