he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
