My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
