I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wish you could order shots online.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
