I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
