we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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