well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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