Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We just shotgunned beers for America
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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