Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
