that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You've changed since you got that strap on
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
