margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
