a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
babies were throwing up all over the place
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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