I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize