She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
