don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
