Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
