Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
