I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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