how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
