I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
