like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
