Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i was born a porn star she said
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
