What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Randomize
