If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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