Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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