So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
