like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm passing your future prison.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Dicks are not precious.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
