Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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