your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
