The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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