He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
