They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
