Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
