It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
