I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
