That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
