It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Is it penis luge time yet?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Damn victory sex feels great
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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