Buhtt sex?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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