there was a trapeze. enough said
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
