Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
