Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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