Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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