Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
