i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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