You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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