Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The adults are the big ones right?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
