Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
