I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
