At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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