I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
