But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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