Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
