textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
