your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I feel great
I just peed on a car
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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