The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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