We won't sleep together?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
