Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
God I need to hump something, right now.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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