Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
