The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
