my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
