My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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