"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
