did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
