so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
