My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
