is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize