i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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