Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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