he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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