So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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