I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize