How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
