oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
vagina is talking i cant
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I enjoy the company of your penis
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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