Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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