Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize