I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
