If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
